


Build From All I Have Torn Apart

by deluweil



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buck is Badass, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, In my book Buck was a Seal, M/M, Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Worried Bobby Nash, Worried Eddie Diaz, Yes small NCIS LA cameos, and you can't convince me otherwise, buck takes his frustration on a boxing bag, keys exchange, oblivious should be declared a disease, of sorts, somewhere between 3x10 and 3x14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28985217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deluweil/pseuds/deluweil
Summary: Eddie had to trust that Buck will come to him when he's ready; he just hoped that it'll be soon, because if he was being honest, an unsettled Buck made for an unsettled Eddie and past experience showed that that could be dangerous.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 390
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales, Navy SEAL!Evan "Buck" Buckley





	Build From All I Have Torn Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was a buddie prompt: Exchanging house keys with included fluff.   
> I can't even remember who asked for it. This fic pretty much took a life of its own.  
> I hope you like it :)
> 
> I want to thank the amazing @somebodysomeplace1 for putting up with me and being an awesome beta while putting up with my crazy!! ❤❤❤

**Build from all I have torn apart**

When Buck first gave Eddie a key to his apartment, it was right after the firetruck explosion, he was too tired and in so much pain and giving Eddie a key felt like the right course of action. Whether it was to check up on him, bring in groceries or just movie nights with the Diazes, which had temporarily moved to his place because of his temporary mobility issue.

He didn't think too much about it, Hen and Bobby had the same "just in case" arrangement, it was just practical. Buck didn't expect to get one in return, Eddie did have a family and a support system outside the 118 and while they may be close, they weren't that close. 

And if Buck was being honest, after the whole tsunami and then lawsuit thing he didn't see anything other than repeated apologies in his future. The best he could hope for was the privilege to see Christopher again and maybe, just maybe being able to be there for Eddie again in any personal capacity he'd allow. 

It was quite encouraging, in Buck's eyes anyway, that at some point Eddie seemed to trust him enough to tell him about the underground fighting and assured him that it was over now. Buck didn't get mad or lecture him, mainly because he felt like he had no right to. Buck hugged Eddie, thanked him for telling him and thanked God that it ended the way it did.

Mainly he felt guilty. Because he should have been there. Maybe if he had none of this would have happened. That maybe if he hadn't taken Christopher to the pier the day of the tsunami the kid wouldn't have suffered from nightmares, maybe if he hadn't filed the lawsuit and just accepted his fate he would have been able to be there for Eddie and Christopher, maybe… maybe if he died that day of the bombing… 

Buck shook his head at that thought as he continued to beat the crap out of the punching bag. His coach used to say that Sunday quarterbacking was a bad unhelpful habit, make mistakes, learn from them, and move on. His CO in BUDS used to say that the 'what if's could get him killed just as easily as momentary inattention in the field, he could have made a good SEAL if only his heart didn't bleed constantly all over the place.

He was aware peripherally that he was being observed, he didn't really care at the moment. Buck didn't think much of the key he gave Eddie until his friend stopped using it, going back to knocking tentatively on the door. His best friend never gave it back, didn't give the indication that he wanted to, but he stopped using it.

Buck frowned at the bag, maybe there is no going back, too much all at once had a tendency to shatter things like faith and trust and safety. Apparently not love though, at least not on Buck's part, he was stupidly in-love with his best friend and there was no going back from it, he'd do whatever it takes to make Eddie and Christopher happy, give anything and everything to make sure they never feel abandoned again.

He'd apologize as many times as necessary, arrange a Christmas party at the station so they can be together, take tearful calls at all hours of the night when Christopher wakes up from a nightmare calling for him. Cook for the Diazes because Eddie is challenged at all things kitchen related, pick up Chris from school on his days off or when he's getting off work before Eddie, and take him to Abuela's or Pepa's house or just spend the day with him because they always have so much fun together.

Even babysit, when Carla is unavailable because while  _ he _ is in-love with Eddie, his best friend is still straight or just not attracted to him and dated every now and again, last time was that cute English teacher. Buck smiled and nodded, and wished him luck when Eddie left him with Christopher who was picking a movie with an excited smile.

Buck gave one last punch and stepped back, completely unsatisfied. He needed a good sparring match, he'll stop by at the MMA gym next to his apartment, vent there, he knows his friend won't ask questions he's not ready to answer and won't take it easy on him. 

He looked at the clock on the wall, five minutes to the end of shift barring any unforeseen last minute alarm. He reached for his towel and was about to hit the showers real quick when he heard Bobby's voice from the door "Buck?"

"Yeah Cap?" Buck turned, a smile plastered on his face, he learned very early in life to slap on a mask when needed. 

"Join me in my office for a minute?" Bobby asked, but it was more of an order framed with a kind tone.

Buck nodded his consent and headed past him towards Bobby's office. He saw Bobby turn to nod subtly at someone in the gym but he really couldn't be bothered and kept moving.

***

Eddie looked at Buck leaving the gym, the fact that his friend hasn't even registered his presence was in and of itself concerning, he doesn't know how long before he stepped into the gym Buck was beating the crap out of the punching bag, but he himself has been there for 30 minutes now and Buck didn't relent until now.

Even 30 minutes in he didn't look satisfied, he looked on edge, that's not a very Buck look, Buck was warm smiles, and exuding calm and dare he say it warm hugs. This Buck was different, something was eating at his best friend for a few weeks now and it looks like it's seeking a physical outlet at this point. 

Eddie wanted to be there for his friend, tried in fact to get him to talk to him, but at work Buck simply deflected and stirred away from the subject with an alarming skill and when-ever they got together Buck would leave immediately once Christopher went to bed. 

They worked as seamlessly as always, but then again they worked just as well even when they were at odds with each other. Eddie had to trust that Buck will come to him when he's ready; he just hoped that it'll be soon, because if he was being honest, an unsettled Buck made for an unsettled Eddie and past experience showed that  _ that  _ could be dangerous. 

***

Bobby followed Buck into the office and closed the door. He gestured for Buck to sit on the nearest chair and went to get the first aid kit. Buck looked in confusion, his eyes questioning "You're knuckles are bleeding kid." Bobby explained and came to sit in front of Buck. 

He gently peeled back the bandages and tape from Buck's hands, and started to clean the wounds, "Want to tell me what's going on with you?" 

Buck sighed "Nothing important, I'm just feeling… I don’t know… caged? Unsettled? I'm not sure how to define it, I'll get it sorted by the next shift, I promise." He assured his boss.

Bobby sighed as he finished cleaning Buck's bloodied knuckles and handed him an ice pack, "Alright you're good to go, if you want to talk this out or just want some company stop by the house, I'm off tomorrow too." 

"I appreciate it Bobby, but really I'm good." Buck got up with a smile he didn't really feel and walked out "See you next shift." Buck made it to the lockers, changed quickly, grabbed his bag and left. He slowed his 'let's miss everyone, and just fucking go' walk when he noticed Eddie was waiting for him, leaning against the passenger's door. 

"Eddie, did you need something?" Buck asked, plastering a kind smile on his face.

"Just wondering if you want to join Christopher and me for dinner at Abuela's, they'd be happy to see you." Eddie offered looking hopefully at his friend.

"Normally I would love to, but tonight I have to be somewhere." Buck replied apologetically.

"Hot date?" Eddie asked with a half-hearted smirk.

"No." Buck replied and reached around Eddie to toss his bag into the passenger's seat.

"Wait," Eddie reached and grabbed gently onto Buck's wrist "will you be long?" 

Buck looked at the point of contact Eddie initiated, and then up to Eddie's face, he looked worried "I don't know in what state I'll be when I'm done Eds." He replied truthfully.

"What does that mean?" Eddie asked his brows furrowed, fear making its way to his expression too.

Eddie wasn't an expressive guy, emotions weren't his thing, but Buck learned how to read him over time, he didn't want to scare his friend so he took a deep breath and turned fully to hug Eddie, when he stepped back he smiled letting affection creep into his gaze "Don't worry too much Eds, I'll be fine. I'll see you next shift okay?" 

Eddie stood frozen in place, long enough for Buck to get into the jeep and start it, then he was moving and knocked on the window, Buck lowered it with a questioning look in his eyes. "Here," Eddie handed Buck a key, "If you change your mind later on and decide you want company let yourself in, we'll join you when we're done at Abuela's." 

Eddie wasn't used to not being able to read Buck, but he felt hopeful when Buck nodded and took the key, Eddie nodded back and stepped away from the jeep watching as Buck drove away.

***

"You know when you called, I expected you to be less…" A tall African-American man commented as both he and Buck entered the ring. 

"Less grumpy than you?" the person who stood outside the ring leaning forward on his arms retorted with amusement.

"That's funny G," Sam took a ready position in front of Buck who smiled amusedly at the banter, he loved spending time with Sam and Callen, they always knew what to say or do to get him out of his head. "Want to get in the ring, see how grumpy I really am?" 

"That's not why we're here Sam." Callen chastised his partner with an amused smirk.

Sam huffed a laugh as he and Buck collided. For the next hour or so, Buck and Sam threw punches and kicks at each other; there were several body slams and later a long session of one on one weapons matches. The last was combat training knives with Taser tips to make it feel more real, Sam was flipping Buck in the air onto his back knife going to Buck's exposed neck as Buck's was aiming at Sam's lower abdomen. "That's a draw, again." Callen announced, "Well done Buckley."

Buck chuckled and tased Sam's inner shin as he rose making Sam jump back "tough kid!" he chuckled as he helped him the rest of the way up. "Feel better?" 

"Yeah, Thanks guys I really needed that." Buck nodded, smiling gratefully.

"Anytime you want your ass handed to you we're happy to be there kid." Callen retorted, handing Buck a beer and joining Buck and Sam on the floor against a lump of mattresses stacked in the corner.

Buck laughed at Callen's retort and took a swig from his beer. "Want to talk about it?" Sam asked, looking at Buck's profile.

"Hell no." Buck retorted. Callen huffed a laugh "That's totally on brand." He teased looking at Sam. "You SEALs and your inability to talk out your feelings."

"Said the Super-spy." Buck retorted "'Sides I'm not a SEAL."

"Anymore." Sam and Callen chorused.

Buck nodded with a shy smile. "Well if you change your mind give us a call we're not due for an assignment for at least another week." Sam told the younger man in a way of invitation.

"Will do, thanks brother." Buck tapped Sam's shoulder before rising to his feet.

Sam and Callen followed suit, together they left the MMA gym Callen and Buck waited as Sam locked the place. "You know Hetty would love nothing more if you joined the team." Callen commented while watching his partner locking up.

"You know I don't belong in your world G, I'm a lot of things but a spy isn't one of them." Buck retorted in a well-practiced manner suggesting that this wasn't the first time they had this conversation, "besides, I joined the LAFD to save people, I don't kill."

"Still, you would have made a hell of an operative." Callen smiled wistfully turning around feeling eyes on them, one hand straying to the back of his waistband. 

Sensing his movement Buck and Sam turned too, Buck spotted a familiar figure standing next to his jeep for the second time that night. "It's alright you guys, it's just Eddie." Buck calmed "Thanks for doing this, I really appreciate it." He thanked them one more time as he hugged Sam than Callen. 

With a last wary look towards Buck's jeep, they turned to go to Sam's car and Buck made his way to Eddie. "Weren't you supposed to have dinner with Christopher and Abuela?" 

Eddie was leaning once again against the passenger's door, his arms folded and a pensive look in his eyes "Abuela said and I quote "Go get that boy, he is too thin as it is" it was in Spanish and there were more profanities involved but you get the picture." Eddie retorted his eyes light in fond amusement at Buck's inability to hold back a chuckle.

"That sounds about right" Buck nodded sheepishly, he loved Eddie's grandmother she accepted him since the first day they met and made it her personal mission to feed him at any opportunity. "How'd you find me though?"

Eddie had the decency to be embarrassed when he explained, "You left your mail account open in my phone so when I couldn't find you at your place I may have used it to locate your phone."

"Seriously?" Buck asked in complete disbelief.

"Yeah." Eddie replied with eyes cast down and hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"That's new." Buck muttered then sighed and came to lean against the jeep next to Eddie. "Want to tell me why it was so urgent for you to find me?"

"Do you want to tell me why I found you here of all places?" Eddie countered.

"Punching bag wasn't helping, I needed someone who hit back." Buck shrugged "Your turn."

"You seemed on edge, said you didn't know what state you'll be when…"

"When I'm done, yeah." Buck remembered, that probably wasn't the best thing to say to a worrywart paramedic and dad of all people.

"I was worried, I guess." Eddie shrugged.

"I told you not to worry Eds, I'm okay." Buck replied quietly.

"Yeah but you're not though, you haven't been in weeks." Eddie countered "Look I suck at all things talk and emotion related," ignoring Buck's snort imperiously he continued "but we need to talk about this, whatever  _ it _ may be."

Buck looked pensive for a few seconds then seemed to reach some kind of a decision, "Okay, but we're obviously not going to do that now, it's late and I stink and maybe in need of ice and painkillers for the next few hours. Tomorrow is both of our days off come over for breakfast after you drop Chris at school?"

"Okay." Eddie agreed, "What do I tell Abuela?" 

"That I owe her a visit." Buck smirked and made his way around to the driver side.

"You know you didn't tell me you could fight." Eddie called over his shoulder.

"To be fair I did say I could take you," Buck retorted with a shit-eating grin "also you never asked, See you tomorrow." 

And with that Buck was off leaving Eddie to make his way to his truck and to drive back empty handed to his Abuela's house, she is not going to be happy with him, fuck his life.

***

The next morning found Buck in the kitchen making pancakes and bacon for breakfast when there was a knock on the door, growling low in his throat, Buck simply yelled "You have a freaking key, use it!" as he continued to turn pieces of bacon in the frying pan. A key turned in the door and Eddie walked in "Sorry, wasn't sure if you were already awake."

"Wouldn't have been the first time you threw me out of bed." Buck shrugged, moving the ready pieces of bacon to a nearby plate. 

Eddie sighed and nodded tiredly, taking a seat at the kitchen aisle. "Been a while though."

"That's your way of saying you're out of practice?" Buck retorted, an amused lilt to his voice.

Eddie huffed a laugh and reached for the two plates ready next to a pile of pancakes "This is a lot of food Buck." He commented.

"I'm planning on an all-day breakfast kind of day, don't feel like cooking." Buck shrugged and took utensils out of the drawer before sitting at the isle next to Eddie. "Dig in." 

They ate in silence for a while then Eddie got up to get the coffee pot pouring a cup for himself and refilling Bucks' who nodded his thanks. Buck got up at some point to get the dishes into the sink and gave them a cursory wash before sticking them in the dishwasher, leftovers were covered and stuck in the fridge.

Eddie felt off-kilter, he wasn't used to so much silence, not from Buck. He usually relied on his best friend to fill the silence. With either inane small talk or useless but fun-to-tell-Christopher-later facts, even the quiet moments never really felt quiet with Buck, it was companionable, comfortable. This? He wasn't sure what this was but it put him on edge.

"I'm not used to this you know?" Eddie said, his quiet voice sounds loud against the silence. 

"Used to what?" Buck asked, following his friend to the living room.

"Being the one to break the silence, that's usually something I can count on you to do." Eddie replied, a half-hearted smile on his face.

"I don't always feel like talking, sometimes my head gets so loud it feels like I am talking but I forget that people on the outside can't hear me." Buck explains with a sheepish expression. 

"Can’t read you either," Eddie added, "I hate that." He muttered, but Buck heard him.

"Well, that's pretty much how the rest of us feel around you, like all the time." Buck teased, his tone kind though, fond.

"Sorry about that." Eddie frowns, "Being on this side of things, not enjoyable."

Buck nodded absentmindedly and sat on the couch facing his friend. Eddie studied him for a second then asked, "What were you doing in the MMA gym last night?"

"I told you, the punching bag doesn't hit back." Buck reminded Eddie who nodded and retorted, "Yeah you said that already, what you didn't say is why you needed someone who hit back in the first place?"

Buck sighed heavily "When I first joined the LAFD I was a horror, womanizer, crazy reckless, troublemaker, Bobby almost fired me twice, actually did one of those times before I got my act together. At some point we had a heart to heart in which I told him that before the fire academy I tried out for the SEALs, what I didn't say was that I for a while I actually was one."

Eddie looked at his friend with wide surprised eyes, almost awed "How did I not know this?"

"You didn't ask, and I wasn't inclined to talk about it." Buck answered, "Also I can't really talk about most of what I did there or why I left in the first place, but the bottom line is that's where I met one of the guys you saw me walk out of the gym with yesterday."

"The taller African-American one?" Eddie asked Buck nodded. "He was a SEAL?"

Buck chuckled "Is a SEAL."

"And the other?" Eddie asked.

"That's not important, I met him after they were paired together, and they've worked together for years. Anyway, the gym is owned by a close friend of both of us. We like to spar there every now and again. I needed his help last night so he came, he always does." Buck shrugged heading for the coffee to get more coffee, "refill?"

"No thanks, I'm good." Eddie replied, "So how are you feeling now? After last night?"

"Better, I don't feel like vibrating out of my skin anymore." Buck sighed gratefully. 

"Want to talk about why you felt so…"

"Unsettled?" Buck offered.

"I guess, in the first place?" Eddie finished his question.

"That's not really important anymore." Buck shook head with a gentle expression in his eyes that Eddie couldn't place.

"It is to me." Eddie insisted, "You've been… distant lately, we're great at work, we're awesome in front of Christopher but the second it's just the two of us you vanish as fast as you can, did I do or say something?" he sighed in frustration when Buck just shook his head as if having some sort of internal argument with himself.

Buck reached for the remote and put some music channel on, and started to move around the apartment, tidying up, getting his laundry from the drier placing the basket on the couch and starting to fold. Eddie watched him for a few moments then started to help, earning him a fond chuckle from Buck, he smiled back at his friend feeling a little more at ease. 

"You stopped using your key." Buck commented quietly after a while.

Eddie looked up at his friend with a frown "The key, to your apartment?"

Buck nodded, not really meeting Eddie's eyes "Yeah, I didn't really notice until after we started hanging out again," which was a nice roundabout way to refer to the lawsuit and Eddie's stint with street fighting "but when I did, it traced it all the way to the day after the tsunami."

Eddie did stop, he just wasn't sure he had an explanation as to why, he noticed too, he just didn't realize Buck did too. He wasn't however going to insult Buck by lying "I did." 

"Why?" Buck whispered confusedly.

"To be honest I'm not sure, it was probably a combination of a few things." Eddie shrugged, not quite sure how he is going to explain this, but if this was one of the things sitting on Buck's mind so heavily that he went out of his way to work it out of his system then he sure as hell was going to try.

Buck was quiet, he folded laundry giving Eddie ample time to come up with some sort of an answer to his question. Eddie was staring at the Henley he was folding earlier, frowning at it was more like it, and if this conversation wasn't so serious Buck would have probably laughed. "I swear it looks like you're having an argument with that t-shirt." He commented eventually with a teasing smirk.

Eddie huffed a surprised laugh "The color is very offending dude." He retorted.

"I happen to like it, it really defines my muscles." Buck commented playfully.

"Your muscles don't need any more defining." Eddie shot back, he loved this, the banter, the sort of flirting they had before the world stopped making sense, he missed this, missed Buck. And for some reason his mouth saw fit to say just that by blurting it out "I missed you."

"Was here the entire time Eds." Buck replied casually, as if it wasn't some big reveal. 

Maybe it wasn't, Eddie pondered, Buck really has been there for him and Christopher once again like he's never left from the moment Eddie forgave him for the lawsuit. Maybe that was it, after the tsunami and after the lawsuit Eddie felt like he lost all right to step into Buck's apartment like it was his, felt as though he was the intruder. 

Eddie heaved a big sigh, "I know  _ you _ have been, but I feel like  _ I _ haven’t.”

Buck tilted his head questioningly, Eddie met his eyes “I guess I feel as though I…”

“Failed me?” Buck took a guess, starting to get an idea where this was headed, guilt tended to do that to people.

Eddie nodded lowering his eyes back to the color offending shirt in his hands.

Buck knelt down, trying to catch his friend’s eyes, “Why would you think that?”

“Because I should have been on the truck with you when the bomb went off,” Eddie started, palms fisted into the fabric in his hands. 

“Probably better that you weren’t.” Buck replied honestly, not contradicting in the way he wanted, like pointing out how happy he was that Eddie was on the Aid car with Hen, because Eddie has Christopher and though he never considered himself expendable, in this case he was happy to the one to take the hit, because there was a kid at home who just lost his mother and should not, under any circumstances lose his father too. 

Buck knew Eddie didn’t want to hear that now so he just waited him out as his friend met his eyes for the briefest moment to glare at him then lowered his eyes back down and continued “Because I’m the reason you were on the pier that day, I pushed you out of the house when you were perfectly content to stay here.”

“Actually you said take a walk around the block…” Buck amended with a smirk, “And Christopher wanted to go to the Pier, I could hardly refuse those big puppy pleading eyes, especially since we were both so amped up after breakfast that some sun and fun were the most appealing way to spend the day.”

“You only have yourself to blame for the puppy eyes, you taught him that.” Eddie smirked weakly.

“Right, cause the Diaz charm didn’t hold water before that.” Buck lifted a critical eyebrow, daring Eddie to claim otherwise.

“I should have questioned Bobby when he told us that you weren’t fit to come back, that we can’t talk to you.” Eddie continued, squeezing his eyes shut, still angry at himself for following blindly, for not understanding that the world is not quite the same as the military and while there was a chain in command in the LAFD, the firefighters weren’t soldiers, they were everyday people, they may did extraordinary things, but they were human, they were fallible.

“Yes, you should have,” Buck nodded calmly, “I would have bailed you out of jail.” At Eddie’s wide eyed surprise, he smirked “You’re not that subtle Eds,” he chastened “I would have helped with Christopher, lawsuit be damned, and if you ever accuse me of not caring about that sweet kid of yours, who I spent a whole day looking for in a fucking tsunami, soaking wet and slowly bleeding out, you and I are going to have a problem, got it?” Buck tilted his head questioningly.

Eddie nodded solemnly, in his heart of hearts, he knew all of that, even through the constant red haze that surrounded him since Shannon died, Eddie knew Buck cared about them, loved them even, would have done anything to make sure they were ok, even at the expense of his own welfare.

“That being said,” Buck drew his attention again, “lawsuit was stupid and impulsive and I should have known better, I can’t in good conscience hold any of what you listed up until now against you.”

“But I…”

“So this is all about you?” Buck stopped him with a teasing smile. Eddie stopped and narrowed his eyes at his friend, but still a playful smile ghosted on his lips. “You are a stubborn one Diaz.”

“Coming from you that’s almost a compliment.” Eddie snarked one eyebrow raised for emphasis.

“Don’t interrupt, you never failed me Eddie, never, and I know you never will, ok?” Buck reassured. “So enough with the self deprecation, you’re not the same person you were when you enlisted, and I’m not Shannon,” he stressed the last observation “Only way you get rid of me is if I’ve bit the dust and buried in the ground.” completely ignoring Eddie’s scandalized look he continued in a mock thoughtful manner “Although given our profession cremation might be the way to go.”

Eddie smacked his shoulder and got up, putting distance between them, “Shut up, you jackass! You’re the worst!”

Buck laughed, rising to his feet and proceeded to finish folding the laundry. He turned around when he felt Eddie’s eyes boring appraisingly into the back of his head “What?”

“Me using the key, that’s what bugged you?” Eddie asked, brows furrowed.

“Among other things.” Buck shrugged offhandedly and took the laundry basket up to the loft to put them away.

“What else then?” Eddie followed his friend up the stairs. 

“Some things are mine to work through, let it go Elsa.” Buck retorted with a smirk over his shoulder.

Eddie shook his head in exasperation, the Frozen references were in full effect the week after they watched it together, Bobby forbade them from watching new Disney movies mid-week after that. He waited all of three seconds for Buck to put the laundry basket down before he yanked Buck back and down to the floor, straddling him, holding his hands over his head.

Buck looked up at him curiously, his body completely relaxed, “What are you doing there Eds?” he asked, an amused glint in his eyes.

“Where are those Seal survival instincts Buckley?” Eddie tilted his head questioningly, more than a bit concerned that Buck seemed disinclined to fight back. 

“I know you won’t hurt me Diaz.” Buck retorted, shrugging awkwardly due to his pinned hands. “You had your chance.”

“You trust me that much?” Eddie tried to keep the awe out of his voice.

“I trust you everyday.” Buck reminded him looking up at their hands over his head. “Besides, I had the fight sparred out of me last night, unless you feel the need to discharge some energy I suggest you let go and get up.”

“And if I don’t?” Eddie challenged. Buck smirked two long legs wrapped around Eddie’s neck, bringing him to the ground and quick hands-work trapped one hand at an angle and both knew that if Buck was inclined to follow through the result would have been a dislocated shoulder.

“Feel better?” Buck asked, letting go and rolling into a standing position, offering a hand out to help Eddie up.

“Depends, are you done avoiding being in the same room with me?” Eddie asked playfully, but the underlying tone was serious.

“We just spent the last few hours together.” Buck retorted turning to step around Eddie to get back to putting the clean clothes away in the closet. 

Eddie gave an honest to God growl and threw Buck on the bed, “Not a ragdoll Diaz!” 

“Shut up! You were right ok? When you said I might have thrown punches at the wrong guy, during my phase,” Eddie exclaimed in frustration, ”but that guy wasn’t you, it was me, I failed in so many aspects from father, to husband, to being a friend, because I let everybody I love down, and there was nothing I could do about it.” he didn’t notice how close he got to the bed until his legs were swept from under him and he landed straight into Buck’s waiting arms.

Buck flipped their positions easily “This sounds a lot like the beginning of a confession,” Buck pointed out “Are you sure you want to make it when you’re angry?”

“Depends, will you be inclined to hear it when I’m not?” Eddie challenged “And for the record I’m not angry, I’m worried.” he clarified.

“Don’t be.” Buck assured and leaned down to capture Eddie’s lips, warm and pliant beneath him. After getting over the initial surprise Eddie cupped Buck’s face moaning into the kiss, being pulled closer, Buck lowered himself fully onto Eddie, his hands framing his head on the bed. They kissed slow and languid, Eddie let his hands wander down strong shoulders, over broad back and under Buck’s shirt, fingers feeling their way through overheated skin.

Buck squirmed and huffed a laugh into the kiss, “Ticklish much?” Eddie teased, fingers going back to feel up the sides of Buck’s stomach. 

“You’re an ass.” Buck retorted but complied as Eddie helped him peel his shirt off and over his head, Eddie simply laughed watching as Buck tossed the shirt over his shoulder and together they crawled up into the center of the bed.

Making quick work of the buttons of Eddie’s plaid button-down shirt, Buck’s eyes lit up at the expanse of skin splayed out from underneath the fabric. Fingers traveling up and down taut stomach Buck looked up to meet Eddie’s eyes, “Are we really doing this?” he asked.

Hands already reaching for Buck’s waistband Eddie countered “Should we not?” 

Buck stilled Eddie’s hands but didn’t remove them, “This can’t be a one and done thing for me Eds, you asked why I was at the MMA gym last night, this was a big part of it, a slow, burning itch under my skin to grab onto you and Chris and never let go, so you need to be sure.” He explained, a firm finality to the ton of his voice.

Eddie sighed and rose halfway to capture Buck’s pouting lips with a quick kiss, noses brushing, Eddie ran an affectionate thumb on his friend’s cheekbone, “I am sure Ev, I’ve been sure for weeks now, I just didn’t know how to talk to you about it.”

Pecking his lips playfully, Buck used the position to help get Eddie’s overshirt the rest of the way and lowered him back to the mattress “Talking is overrated,” he retorted “And we’ve proven, historically, that actions are more our thing.” 

“So let’s do that,” Eddie smirked playfully as he reached once again for Buck’s waistband and this time met no resistance.

***

Later, much later, they laid entangled on Buck’s bed, sweaty and sated. Buck met Eddie’s eyes with a happy smile and leaned down for a kiss.

When they pulled away Eddie reached for Buck’s wrist to check the time and groaned.

“You need to go get Christopher soon?” Buck asked, eyes closed in momentary bliss, fingers running soothingly up and down his newly acquired... partner? Boyfriend? (Buck always hated labels,) back, he guesses they’ll figure it out as they go. 

“Yeah,” Eddie sighed, pressing a kiss to Buck’s chest, just over his heart, then up on his lips before getting up and heading to the bathroom to clean up, “Want to join us for a late lunch? Christopher will be delighted to see you.” he called over his shoulder. 

Buck who already followed Eddie to the bathroom met his eyes in the mirror and nodded happily, Eddie noted that his shit-eating grin was finally back, and after months of having to settle for a mere echo of it, Eddie knew he’d do whatever it takes to keep it from fading again. 

He’ll start by telling Christopher, their little Superman has the best plans.

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! Hope you like it!!  
> Please review, reviews keep my muse going and happy 🤗🤗


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